English Skills Optional?

Just received this horse manure which I am hoping is only pretending to be from Resume Bucket. After being rather nastily turned down today for an online writing position, I sorely needed the laugh this male bovine fecal material provided.

Dear Applicant

The Human resources have just reviewed your resume due to the one you posted on www.resumebucket.com You are now scheduled for an interview with the hiring manager of the company.His name is David leonard,you are required to setup a yahoo mail account(mail.yahoo.com) and a yahoo instant messenger (http://messenger.yahoo.com). After this process is done, you are to add up her yahoo id ( interviewdavid113@yahoo.com) to your yahoo buddy list for the interview.add her up now.She is online waiting for you

The position available are data entry,office assist,admin clerk,health care services,customer service,book-keeping,auditing,sales management,operation manager, human resources,sales director,admin assist,sales rep,accounting clerk,medical biller,payroll clerk,manufacturing m manager,assist supervisor.

If you are interested in any one of the position you are to follow all of the instruction given to you above.

Be nefits: Health, Dental, Life and AD&D Insurance, Employee Wellness and 401k plans. Paid Time Off and Holidays with Generous Company Discounts. Free mini office equipments and other benefits which will be relayed in the course of this briefing.

Work Time: Part-Time /Full Time

*Feel free to email me on interviewdavid113@yahoo.com

Regards
Human Resources Dept
To respond, please log in to your ResumeBucket message center by clicking here.

Sincerely,

ResumeBucket Team

1) Who in the world interviews using Yahoo IM and Yahoo email? The premier choice for a non face-to-face interview is currently Skype.

2) David Leonard or David leonard can’t make up his mind if he’s male or female (he also can’t make up his mind if his last name needs to be capitalized or not). Perhaps he’s a hermaphrodite? Proper use of pronouns in an email is an effective business skill. It’s unfortunate that the hermaphrodite only attended the school of spam (and not that stuff made by Hormel either)

3) There are numerous positions listed but I guess David Leonard’s S key is broken. Or perhaps the school of spam never taught him/her/it that if you have multiple things to list, you should say ‘positions’ not position.

4) The position available are…..should be the position available is or the positions available are. Is is singular, are is plural. For example, my cat IS crazy, my cats ARE crazy. Yes the cats ARE crazy but that’s neither here nor there.

5) The ‘human resources’ should be the human resources staff or human resources department or human resources manager (I could go on for days but you should be getting the drift that the troglodyte left out a word.

6) The human resources (whatever, perhaps the hermaphrodite itself?) have just reviewed my resume due to the one I posted on Resume Bucket. Did they review the ‘one’ I posted on Resume Bucket? What ‘one’ was that? This sentence should read that the human resources staff (or department, or manager) reviewed my resume which they found on Resume Bucket.

7) ‘Add up her yahoo id to your buddy list’. Add up? These sentences should read add, the up is not necessary. For example, my bills last month added up to more money than I earned last month, and my bills this month will add up to more money than I will earn this month.

8) The positions available are…..blah, blah, and blah. There should be a space after each comma in this sentence. There should be an ‘and’ between manufacturing m manager and assist supervisor. While we’re on the subject of ‘assist,’ the word ‘assist’ is generally not an acceptable abbreviation for assistant. The word bookkeeping is generally not hyphenated, and operation manager is normally operations manager. Be nefits is not a word, the proper spelling is benefits. And while we’re on that subject, there’s no need to capitalize each and every one of the benefits. Equipments is not a generally accepted usage and what are ‘mini office equipments?’

9) ‘If you are interested in any one of the position’ should be ‘if you are interested in any of the positions’ as we have another mismatch (position vs positions) and one is just unnecessary verbiage

10) Instruction would be appropriate if only one directive had been given. I am supposed to open a Yahoo email account, download Yahoo messenger, and add her up to my buddy list. That is three directives or ‘instructions’

Is this a legitimate job interview offer? I DON’T THINK SO!

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