brown goo and other horror stories

So that we are all on the same page: I am a certified slob.  A former landlord asked me if I actually KNEW how to turn on a vacuum cleaner.  No, that isn’t a joke…..he really said that.

I am also lazy.

Between the slob and the lazy my house is a total disaster area, only FEMA will NOT come in and declare it eligible for federal funds ……so I have to clean it all myself (am I whining?  YES!!)

My aunt is coming to visit the end of the month so I’ve been cleaning house all month (hey, I’m slow and lazy as well as being a slob).  And while there have been a few pleasant surprises along the way (finding things I didn’t even know were here, finding things I thought were lost forever) there have also been some really disgusting ones.

1) Renuzit air fresheners — the ones shaped like little rounded tepees — have a tendency to melt a bit if not used.  Of course I found this out when one of them dripped on my hand. On the bright side, I smelled good for a few hours (or at least my hands did).

2) Brown goo in the bottom of a bucket…..bucket was moved from Beaverton, Oregon to Bend, Oregon in October 2005.

Contents were not examined until today.  Personally, I could have gone the rest of my life without examining that bucket and its contents.

The melted sample size of Lever soap shouldn’t have created that much of a mess, so I have to assume something else brown, nasty, and gross was in that bucket and spread its slimy little tentacles all over everything.  The contents of the bucket (other than a fork, and don’t ask me how a piece of silverware got in the bucket, I haven’t a clue) have been thrown away.

The infamous bucket with what remains of the brown goo sits in my bathtub full of water.  I’m assuming the bubbles are coming from the remains of the soap.  The fork sits in my kitchen sink soaking too.

Am I ever going to wait this long to clean house again?……..I DON’T THINK SO.

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