An Epic Monster or a Monster Epic? YOU Decide!

I am a recruiter at Epic. I found your resume on Monster.com and think you could be a match for our Software Development position.

Epic is one of the world’s premiere developers of healthcare software. If you haven’t heard of Epic, don’t be surprised – Forbes recently referred to us as the “Silent Giant” of the electronic medical records industry. We create and implement a wide range of integrated software solutions for many of the largest healthcare organizations in the country and around the world. We have grown steadily over the last 30 years, and currently our software is used to care for about 80 million people across the United States alone.

Epic has an innovative culture that is ideal for software developers and engineers who want to work hard and push the limits of what technology can do. We are looking to hire people who want to immediately jump into challenging, meaningful work and make a difference in the lives of patients across the country. We have one of the most selective hiring processes in the U.S., so when you work here, you’re working with some of the best and brightest in healthcare IT.

Relocation to Madison, WI is required and reimbursed. Visa sponsorship is also available.

Do people even read? Or is the scattershot method of throwing a job opening out there the way to go these days?

I specifically said when uploading my resume to Monster yesterday that I was NOT interested in relocating. If the job is not in the central Oregon area (Madras, Bend, Prineville, Sisters, Redmond, Terrebonne, La Pine) I am NOT interested no matter if it pays a kajillion dollars!

Perhaps this intelligence challenged recruiter hasn’t heard the news (maybe she’s too busy sending irrelevant emails to unqualified applicants to actually READ!), but the economy is in the tank and the real estate market where I currently live is UNDER the tank.

In this town when you used to see a home–without acreage–selling for under $200,000.00 the immediate reaction was “what’s wrong with THAT house?” Now its not uncommon to see houses with acreage and outbuildings selling for $150,000.00

The manufactured home two doors away from me has been for sale for 2 years, the price has been lowered to $27,000.00, and the home still hasn’t sold. That house is on a view lot, mine is not, and I doubt that the addition of a master bathroom (like my manufactured home has) would make my home any more likely to sell.

Sub-letting (leasing, renting) my manufactured home is not allowed and even if it was, being a landlady from clear across the country strikes me as being less than enjoyable.

Even throwing out all the don’t want to relocate/lousy real estate market/can’t rent or lease my current (paid for, owned free and clear) home considerations, the job description clearly states this as a requirement:

BS/BA or greater in Computer Science, Mathematics, Computer/Software Engineering, Information Management, CIS or a related field.

My degrees are: an AS in Hotel/Restaurant Management and a BS in Business/Economics (accounting emphasis). I was working towards an ISQA (Information Services Quality Asssistance) degree for 2 years but have no BS/BA degree that is related to Computer Science, Mathematics, Computer/Software Engineering, Information Management, or CIS.

All of my experience is clerical, data entry, accounting, banking, financial, sales support. There is nothing on my resume that is remotely related to Software Development.

I am not sure who is to blame here, Monster.com or the intelligence-challenged recruiter. I just know that the end result is that I am not impressed with Monster.com, with Epic, or with the recruiter from Epic.

I am truly tempted to upload my cats resumes the next time I am asked to provide one. Since its painfully obvious that a lot of recruiters don’t read (or can’t read) I give you ten to one that my cats would get more valid responses and job offers than I do!!




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